Dear Future Au pair

After spending hours and hours going back and forth with potential new au pair candidates a few years ago, I finally realized that the right au pair will recognize herself if she gets a good look into the experience of being an au pair in our home.

I asked my past au pair's to write an honest letter about their experience with us, so that, after reading it, you will probably have a good idea if we're a good potential family for you.

You can read our most recent au pair, Lea's letter, as well as our last au pair, Barbara's letter and our second au pair, Ramona's letter here and our first au pair, Micha's letter here.

In addition to letter's from Lea, Barbara, Ramona and Michaela please take a look at our somewhat outdate family picture blog and pictures of our house for my airbnb listing (it isn't always this clean but we try, and my au pair's help me a lot).

If you think we could have a great year together, please contact me at lists4lisa at gmail dot com.

-Lisa

PS. I dearly love each of these girls and appreciate all they contributed to our lives while they lived with us. I'm also grateful that we have each of them in our lives still and I suspect for many years to come and we all consider them part of our extended family.

PPS. I asked the girls to write an honest letter with the good and the bad but looking over the letters they didn't write much that is negative.  I think that is largely because we spent a lot of time making sure to have a good fit.  Also, these girls, like me, understand that every situation and every person has positives and negatives and so, I guess, they never held the negatives too much against me.  In an attempt to give a full picture, here are some of the things which might be seen as negatives (especially for the wrong person; for the right person, some though not all, may even seem appealing).

a) Our house is busy! This means that it's sometimes loud, chaotic and disorganized.  It can be a lot of fun but it can also be work to prepare, manage and organize for events, classes and social gatherings.
b) I am disorganized.  Combined with being busy this means that my au pairs often find themselves in the position of helping me find my keys, pushing me out the door to make sure I'm not late and helping find sanity and calm etc.   This kind of skill and help is SO appreciated by me.
c) Our kids are wonderful but can be challenging.  (I suspect this is true of most kids but I get worried when I read au pair applications that say they love kids because they're always smiling and always fun.)    Kaizen is 13 and a boy and sometimes he needs reminders mostly related to social skills.  He can challenge patience by "not hearing" or "forgetting".  Soleil is intense and emotional and dramatic.  She can wear a person out with her persistence.  She is also fickle and might love you one minute and tell you to "go away" the next.  Yet they both have extreme charms.
d) We are an unusual family in many ways.  We have a lovely and privileged life but we don't live the typical American Dream.  We don't have a TV and we are thoughtful and careful about mainstream influences of most kinds.  We like to go our own way and sometimes that's very different from the pack.  For a very conservative person we are very likely to seem weird.  And for someone looking to experience Martha Stewart-like American holidays they may be disappointed in our company.
e) We try very hard to have a healthy diet and to teach our kids about nutrition.  Joe and I try to eat mostly good quality proteins and lots of vegetables.  Joe is often trying some new unusual food approach and so, often has to make his own food separate from the rest of us.  We try to keep sugar, white bread and pasta to a minimum.  Our kids challenge this but we still try to encourage love of a whole food diet in them and will need your contribution.  

Lea's Letter

Hey there.

I'm Lea, and i'm the current au pair of the Betts-Lacroix family. It's been exactly a year today that I landed in New-York and since my year is almost sadly done, i guess it's time for me to give to some one else the chance to live what I've experienced. It's been so far, the best year of my life : and i'm pretty serious about it. I considerate myself a lucky person. I'm the kind of person who find a great parking spot without even looking for it. I am lucky in my day-to-day life. And I've realised it even more during this past year. I've met some amazing people here, some people who've changed the way I 'm thinking, the way I'm living, the way I am . I've grown : A LOT. I believe that I've become a stronger person, with much more confidence, with much more abilities.
And yeah, I owe that to every single person I met here, but mostly to Lisa, Joe, Kai and Soleil.

Are you ready to live something big ? Are you ready to change ? Are you ready to use some maturity ?
Because if you're not, there 's maybe an other program for you. I did (and still do) believe that being an au pair is more than driving kids to school every morning, picking them up in the afternoon and watching tv while they are struggling with their homework. I'm pretty sure you would find an other family if that is what you are expecting.
You have to like being overwhelmed by the love of 7 years old little girl, you have to like pretending to be a kitty, you have to like reading stories again&again ( and over again : WE HAVE LOT OF BOOKS, strangely a couple of them are more love than the others ). You also have to remind that you used to be a teenager, and it wasn't long ago : dealing with a teenager is so much easier and fun when you share what you remember about it .

Kaizen a.k.a Kaikai, or Kai is 13, he eats minestrone soup, frozen tamales, chicken, pasta and candies. He's the smartest kid I've ever met and kinda know it. He loves video games, computering – which is a family thing - ( Silicon Valley thing ), and reading. He has probably read more books that i will read in my life. He 's pretty easy going, but he need to be directed. He will help you, if you need it, and if you ask for it. He sometimes forget what he needs to do, not because he doesn't want to do them but because he's a boy and yeah I guess some stuff are more interesting and easy to remember than clearing his desk, or putting his plates on the dishwasher. He needs authonomy, and space. He's a very interesting kid who has a lot to talk about,and who 's worth to be listen very attentively. I've learned a lot with him. He is into math, music ( teaching himself how to play drums : he's pretty good ), he sings, play piano and loves to perform.

Soleil a.k.a Pineapple ( cause it's my favorite fruit) is an adorkable little girl. She's gonna love you so much that it's gonna very hard for you to tell her ' no'. She knows what she wants, and she is good at figuring out how to get that. She likes to pose, she likes making funny faces in pictures, and she loves crafting : and she 's good at it. She has a lot of imagination, she likes listening to stories, and making some up. I guess she will read pretty well in a couple of month and she will earn in authonomy with books. I'm sure she will never let go of the bedtime/snuggling story time though.

She LOVES her parents, and yeah she wants to spend all her time with them : don't take it personnaly. I did feel sometimes useless cause I didn't know what to do. You can't really force someone to be with you, and to play with you, and it's even more difficult when mummie is around. As she's getting older, she 's maturing a lot. I remember that a year ago she didn't really want to try new things, new classes, meet new people : she was just fine with the way things worked at the time. Now, even though she still like laying down in bed, playing card games and messing around : she enjoy and try things – it's better when friends are around -. If she's hesitant on trying things, she's not with food, with her dad they love trying weird/disgusting food mixes ( peanutbutter and jelly sandwich smoothie, or ice cream and salmon eggs) it is really fun to observe how she actually likes it ( or pretend to ) while she refuses to eat whatever she decided she doesn't like. She is pretty picky, however she would always be hungry for a desert. She 's in a relationship with candies - sugar in a general way - : wich is turning close to the addiction.

Lisa and Joe are pretty awesome people. Always here when you need it, always trying to make things work for everyone. If you don't feel confortable with them, you won't feel confortable with anyone. They are open minded person who will really do whatever they can to get to know you : to know who you are, where you come from and what you want to become. Lot of people around : be warned. I've met some incredible people this year through the homeschooled community, throught their friends, throught all the people we hosted. You will see a lot of things going on in this house : concerts in the living room, lot of kids playing/messing around in the playroom, lot of parties and dinner, and of course classes. I did enjoy it a lot, and i'm not a super social person though. If you are a homie kind of person who doesn't like having people around all the time : might not be the best fit. But again you don't have to be part of it if you don't want to, I'm just saying that it's nice to be around, enjoying good conversation.

I definitly get a much more healthier attitude towards food : i'm a baker's daughter, I love sweet, I love white wheat, I love bread. In france american food is presented as fat, and non healthy : giving mcdonald as 1st exemple... It's not like that at all here, Lisa and Joe are paying attention to what they eat : the pantry won't be the same that what you're used to eat. I did get a bit homefoodsick at some point – they are still plenty of places where you can find whatever things you FEEL like eating. And Lisa loves cooking, Joe is famous for making great dishes out of left over : so don't worry you won't be sturving : if you are, it's just because you're picky :)

Lisa is great trying to schedule work time paying attention to if you have plans or not. I usually have my schedule for the week on sunday, and organise myself according to that schedule. Kai is getting older and doesn't need too much playing : he does have bunch of classes all over the bay and need to be driven. He's pretty much self efficient : may sometimes need to be reminded that he has to eat when too involved in a good book or a video game. Soleil wants to play all the time, but she does also have class she has to go to. Every morning we try to see what need to be done, and we slipt the work with Lisa. Kids laudry is usually once a week, I do cook a lot : cause I LOVE it.

Concerning the cleaning, there are always things which are need to be done : it's normal, it's a house with kids. If you are into museums-houses, in which “dust” is a swearword, may not be a perfect fit. Don't get me wrong : the house is not dirty or anything : it's just a living house, with real people who don't spend each second of their day cleaning after children. We do have some cleaning spot on the calendar, but when I see something which need to be done, I just do it.

My experience here was pretty amazing. So radically different that everything I experienced before. It worked perfectly cause I wasn't expecting anything special. I was totally open to start something new. Jump in like I'd always been a part of it. It was great cause the Betts-Lacroix was my perfect match. And they are now a part of life, they will be a part of it forever. After a year, I still do think the matching process is the MOST important thing. And you shall be pretty serious about it if you want to have a as great experience as I have.

Feel free to ask anything.

Peace & Love .

Barbara's Letter

Greetings to you, potential future Betts-Lacroix family member

I am Barbara to serve you...


I am French, I lived in the warm Betts-Lacroix family's home on Sugarloaf Drive from November 2009 to August 2010; and it was an incredibly interesting and unique experience!

First thing to understand, I think the Betts-Lacroix were really a family I could fit in because
I related to their values and way of life, which can seem quite unusual to most people, since
they homeschool, they belong to various communities, try to learn and practice non violent
communication, are interested in many diverse things, don't watch TV... all of those aspects
drew me to them, and if you think you are also interested then maybe you could be a great
match for them, and they for you! However, even if we have different customs, or education,
the Betts-Lacroix are always eager to learn new things, and are very open minded. Any new,
interesting experience you can bring to their home will be welcome and they will be grateful
for it.

As Ramona tells it, Lisa usually gave a planning every Sunday for the next week, and she
would see it through with you to check if you have any special personal plans or events you
would like to fit in. Lisa is a stay at home mom; but don't get it wrong she always has plenty
to do, she is involved in many communities and needs help with whatever you would feel
comfortable doing, as cooking, cleaning and of course playing and learning with the kids,
Kaizen and Soleil, first of all. Those two lovely persons are your priority.

Kaizen is a very sweet, sharp-humored, clever boy(-teen), he is interested by many things, he
loves playing building, logical games, overall strategy games of course. He loves reading at
any time and any place! He tries to sneak some more time in front of the computer sometimes,
he practices magic. And now he is often involved in performing, he's got a wonderful high
pitched voice (at least at the time I was there it might have changed with the new years
added), and he plays the piano. Kaizen is affected a lot by the things going on around him,
he is very protective towards his sister and his family, and sometimes, too many feelings or
thoughts can overwhelm him, and he needs a little reassuring and alone time.

Soleil is radiating life, she loves many things too, she enjoys a lot of physically challenging
games, she likes to climb, run, dance with you, go to the park, go to aikido, swimming pool
or do gymnastics. She is also quite creative, she will be happy to paint, do chalk drawing in
the alley, cut, paste, decorate, paint her face... and she loves reading stories cuddling together.
She also was very happy and involved in the building of an electric car with Joe. She is a
very sensitive girl too; she needs to be reassured a lot, cuddled, show her your love simply.
And yes, she is quite a drama kid, she makes many funny faces, we also had great times
inventing stories in which we had roles like spies, playing « the good guys », or ninjas having
superpowers, and she appreciated very much when I would tell her stories I invented on the
way back home.

Regarding food, the family tries to eat sane and healthy food, but of course you can eat less
healthy food away from the children so as not to tempt them. Kaizen loves chicken soup,
as Ramona said, and also grilled cheese on bread (he loves ham and butter baguette!), or
scrambled eggs, and tapioca...oh and mango sticky rice, but of course those last two are
sweet...

Soleil eats a bit of everything, she likes gnocchi with bleu cheese, she loves sweet things, such
as fruits, candies, hot chocolate....

At the beginning it was not easy for me to understand how to relate with the children. It was
hard, i had some trouble with being accepted by Soleil, but fortunately Lisa and Joe were
very supportive and comforted me. We have to understand that each year almost, the children are meeting a new person living with them, to whom they get very close to, until it's time for
them to separate. It is very hard, and I could imagine for Soleil who is so young, maybe Kai
can have more distance about it; it will also be very hard for you to leave them at the end of
your wonderful stay. So we have to be empathic about their behaviour each time a new au
pair comes in.

Lisa is truly an example in my life. She has and will inspire me still for a long time. She is a
nurturing, empathic, reflexive, efficiently leading person. She will welcome you in with both
arms wide open, she shares her experiences with you, she listens and tries to find the best way
for everyone to be happy. She is an amazing person, very sensitive.

Joe is such a funny and clever person! I always laughed with him, he is thinking with different
patterns that you would see in many other people. He has lived through much, and shares
some of his amazing bits of life with you if you ask the right questions!...and if he is willing
to!

Lisa and Joe are always trying to make everything work for everybody. They both have had
different rich experiences before being parents, and it's up to you to ask them and discover
more about what made them who they are now...

At the time I was in California, they were living in another house they rented. It was real nice,
big and old. We travelled together and also did a family camp which I really loved. Joe's mom
and Lisa's family visited us. My mom also was welcome in their house.

As Michaela said, you are never bored in their house, many people come and go, classes take
place in the living room, you always drive somewhere, their home is a very active one! You
really feel integrated to the family; they will ask you if you would like to go with them to
friends' houses, or shows, etc...

As it has been said, our experiences are great because we had a great match, if you don't think
you will be happy with their values, it would benefit you to keep looking for another one
more suited to your expectations; on the contrary, if you feel drawn to this wonderful family,
ask for more, and they will speak their truth!

Have a great journey! Make the best choices possible for you,

Espérant que vous ayez une merveilleuse expérience,

Barbara

An intro to the BL Family by video

Ramona's Letter

Hallo You,

I am the Betts-LaCroix second Au-Pair and I will tell you about my year as Au-Pair in their family which was one of the best that I had in my life so far. Imagine you were in my possision while you are reading the following text.

After a long flight from New York to San Franscico I finally arrived at the airport in San Francisco. They picked me up at the airport with a sign that said „welcome Ramona“ they were dressed very colorful and Kaizen(9years at this point) forgot to wear his shoes. My first dinner in their house was quinoa and broccli. After dinner I went upstairs in my room and the first night I didnt know on which side of the huge bed I should sleep. The first couple days Michaela, the previous Au-Pair,was still there and she showed me around. To say goodbye to her and welcome to me we went all together to Alcatraz. After she left my real life as their Au-Pair begun.

Every Sunday I got my workplan and it changed a little bit very week but the plan is not going to tell you exactly what you have to do on Monday, Tuesday,.... sometimes Lisa is going to tell you with what she needs help but often you should come up with you own creative ideas for the kids or sometimes you should see oh the dishwasher is full and empty it while Lisa spends some time with the kids. I never really had the role of a typical Au-Pair which means to start working in the morning when both parents leave the house and give the kids back to their parents when they come
back at night. I was a partner with Lisa, we helped each other if one of us needed help. One fixed task was to make the kids laundry and to cook an easy dinner for them on the days when I had to work late. I also helped them to clean the kitchen and to organice their house that doesent mean that they treated me like their housekeeper but it could be that I helped a little bit more in the househould then other Au-Pairs do.

It was typical for me to spent more time with Soleil than with Kaizen, the reason is that Kaizen has more classes all over the Bay Area whereas Soleils classes are not so far away. It was common that Lisa drives Kai to his classes and is gone almost all day while a was watching Soleil. Important for you is that you can drive and that you are spontanious. Often I got to be asked in the last moment if I could pick up Soleil or Kaizen because Lisa has still some work to do. I liked those unplanned things, even though I have to say sometimes they made me nervous, but they were a small
challenge for myself and they make the day more interesting.

Kaizen liked to play all different kind of games with me and one of his challenges at the end of the year was to find a magic trick with which he could trick me.He also likes to go bowling,swimming and to play games on his computer. Normally he shoudnt play a lot on his computer but Lisa tries not to give you the task to be the computer police but she would not like it if you let him play on the computer all day long.The family has no TV and the kids do not watch movies very often. Kaizen is very picky and I needed a lot of patient to find out what he would like to eat, chickensoup was his favorite food and very often I helped to prepare the soup. One thing that is special about him is that it takes him a really long time to get close with other people, it took almost 6 month with me. One thing that was hard with him was that I had to tell him a lot of things more then once because he forgot or he was reading a book and couldnt come to an end etc..He is a very nice kid and he helped me when I didnt know where to find for example the salt and he also told me when I said things in english wrong.I almost forgot he loves to read books.

Soleil, she is my little sunshine but she doesn't always smile. She knows what she wants and if she doesnt get it you have to deal with her. There were some hard situation for me but I learned pretty fast how to deal with those emotional situation.
I played a lot with here and made arts and krafts and many we did a lot of crazy things together. If you do something with her that is fun for you too, she will love it. I played games with here, I read stories, sometimes I made stories up for her and she could decide which characters were in the story sometimes she could even decide what they woud do next. With her you have to use your fantasy because she has a lot of fantasy and she want to use it. „Lets pretent.......that we are........“is one of

Soleils favorite sentences. She loves animals and she also really likes to go to the ocean and play there.I also gave her baths and played with here in the bath and washed and brushed her hair which she really didnt like that is why i turned it into a game.One of the tricks that made my life with her a lot easier. I also drove her
to her activties and friends and sometimes I watched her friends in our house.

Lisa is the best hostmum I can imagine, she is very warmhearted and she is interested in you and your needs.She always tried to make it right for everyone ind the family including me. We had a very good realtionship I can talk with here about everything. She was very flexible and gave me a lot of freedom because I was flexible. I think we both „gave and took“. Communication is very important for here if something isnt good the only solution is to talk about it and try to find a solution togheter. If you are flexible and open to try something new you wont get in trouble with her.

Joe is a awesome person and he has his own humor which I really like. I think he is very interested in other countries so that we talked a lot about the diffrences between USA and Germany. I also did all different crazy things with him and Soleil like „vinegar tasting“ or going on top of the roof. During the summer I traveld with them but those trips werent always only „fun trips“, they were also learning camps. I one of those camps I watched a whole group of small kids. But we also did
fun trips the last one was a camping trip. You should like camping and you should be adventurous because that is the way they are..If you dont like travelling I think this family is not a good match for you. I also traveld a lot in my free time which was very important for me.

One thing which is important to know is that almost all their food is organic, whole wheat and as fresh as possible. I enjoyed this because I dont like fastfood but if you want white pasta and rice dont pick this family.

Their house very often busy there are classes which are in their house, friends come over for dinner etc. I was always welcome to stay with them or do my own thing. I really appreciated that all my friends were welcome in their house too. If you are looking for a calm family this is the wrong family.

They had two cars while I was there and most of the times when I needed the car in my freetime I was able to take one but you have to ask you wont have your own car.

Ask yourself whether you liked what I have written?

If you have question which you want to ask me, ask Lisa for my e-mail adress and write me.

To have a really good experience in the USA you need to have the right family. This family was perfect for me, they are my second family, but this doesnt mean it is perfect for you!

Think about it and pick carefully. If you worry about anything talk to Lisa and Joe about it before you close the match so that you know what to expect.

I had a perfect year because I had a very good match. I wish you good luck.

Ramona

Michaela's Letter

Family Letter

Hello my name is Michaela H. and after my A-Level in Germany, I spent a Au Pair year from September 2007 until September 2008 in the Betts Lacroix family. This was my best year in my current life. The kids are really sweet and lovely. As an au pair you have a lot of opportunities to do with them, e.g. do handicrafts, go to the playground, library, museum, cinema and a lot more. In this family it was never boring, they are in a lot of different and interesting communities, to which you can go with the kids or the whole family. You have to be open minded and like to have people around you. Lisa and Joe are always willing to help you and do everything that you have a great time. Next to the childcare you should try to organize the house a little bit, help cleaning and cook for the kids. Sometimes it´s a little bit different to find food that both of them like, but I guess that´s normal for children.

The Family is very open minded and I learned a lot about childcare and healthy food. They are not really a typical American family, but for me it was the perfect. They are including you in every family activity and treat you like a real part of the family. I could always invite friends over to their place and had a lot of freedom. It´s important that you are not too shy to say what you think and respect everybody as they respect you. I was really lucky and traveled a lot with them; I met wonderful people over them and had so much fun.

At the beginning I was a little bit curios about they are homeschooling, but I learned that it is not like the most people think. They are not sitting alone at home and study by their self. The kids are going to different classes or met at home with a lot of other children and learn all together. I think it´s perfect for Kai and Soleil it´s a really nice learning atmosphere. This family is very childcare and learning orientated and you can learn a lot too.

I really love this family and can´t tell anything bad about them. We are still in contact and they are like my 2nd family now. I am trying to go there ones a year, because I miss them a lot.

If you have any further questions, please don´t hesitate to ask me. If you want we can talk more about my experience with this wonderful family.

Warm Wishes

Michaela